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Reset, Recharge, Renew in 10 Steps

If you’ve been feeling tired, moody, and stuck in a cycle of stubborn weight gain, it’s time to stop blaming yourself. The root cause often lies in your hormones—and there’s a way to reset them while reclaiming your energy and balance. These 10 steps will guide you with tips and tools to make each step as easy and manageable as possible.

Understanding Hormone Imbalances

Hormone imbalances can happen for several reasons:

  • Chronic stress is a big one—it raises cortisol levels, which can mess with other hormones like estrogen and thyroid hormones, leading to tiredness, mood swings, and weight gain.
  • A poor diet full of processed foods and sugar can also throw things off, affecting insulin and hormone production.
  • Environmental toxins, like those found in plastic and cosmetics, can mimic estrogen and mess with your hormones.
  • Sleep deprivation is another culprit, as it messes with cortisol levels and disrupts hormones that control hunger and metabolism.
  • Underlying health issues like PCOS or thyroid problems, as well as life changes like menopause, can also cause hormone imbalances.
  • Even medications like birth control or hormone therapy can play a role.

Understanding what’s causing your imbalance is the first step in resetting your hormones and getting back to feeling your best.

10 Steps to Reset Your Hormones

Step 1: Detox Your Diet

Start by cutting out inflammatory foods like sugar, processed snacks, and alcohol, and replace them with whole, nutrient-dense options. Focus on colorful vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats, and fiber-rich foods to support detoxification and hormone health. Use tools like Whisk to plan meals that align with your goals or EatLove for tailored meal plans.

Step 2: Balance Your Breakfast

Eat a protein-rich meal in the morning to stabilize blood sugar and support hormone production. Include foods like eggs, Greek yogurt, or a protein smoothie with added fiber.

Step 3: Fix Your Sleep Hygiene

Quality sleep is essential for balancing hormones. Aim for 7-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night. Create a sleep routine by limiting screen time before bed, keeping a consistent sleep schedule, and optimizing your sleep environment. Use apps like SleepCycle to track your progress and optimize your schedule for better sleep habits.

Step 4: Stress Less with Cortisol Care

Chronic stress can wreak havoc on your hormones. Incorporate mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to lower cortisol levels. Apps like Headspace and Calm provide guided meditations and breathwork exercises that are easy to incorporate into daily life.

Step 5: Move Smart, Not More

Focus on strength training and low-impact workouts to support muscle growth and hormonal health. Overtraining can increase cortisol levels, so aim for balanced movement.

Step 6: Heal Your Gut, Heal Your Hormones

Your gut plays a huge role in hormone regulation. Include probiotics, fiber, and gut-healing foods like fermented vegetables, bone broth, and flaxseeds.

Step 7: Hydrate Like You Mean It

Staying hydrated is one of the simplest but most effective ways to support hormone balance. Aim for at least half your body weight in ounces of water daily.

Step 8: Track and Optimize Your Hormones

Understanding how your hormones fluctuate can help you align your habits to support balance. Use apps like FLO to track your cycle and gain deeper insights into hormonal patterns and their impact on your body and mind.

Step 9: Build Habits That Stick

Consistency is the key to success. Small, daily actions lead to big changes over time. Start by choosing one or two habits that align with your health goals, such as eating a protein-rich breakfast or incorporating a 10-minute meditation into your routine. Set realistic expectations and focus on progress, not perfection.

Step 10: Make It Manageable

Life can feel overwhelming, but making your hormone reset plan manageable is all about working smarter, not harder. Prioritize strategies that fit seamlessly into your daily routine. For example, instead of aiming for an hour-long workout, take a 20-minute walk after dinner. Or, if meal prepping for the week feels impossible, start with preparing just one or two meals ahead of time. Use time-blocking to carve out small windows in your schedule for self-care or health-focused tasks.

Functional Testing for a Personalized Hormone Reset

Functional testing provides valuable insights into the root causes of hormone imbalances, helping you create a personalized health plan. Here are two key tests to consider:

  • Food Sensitivity Testing: This test identifies hidden inflammatory responses to certain foods that may contribute to hormonal imbalances, digestive issues, or skin conditions. Eliminating trigger foods can significantly improve your overall health and hormone regulation.
  • Micronutrient Panel: This test evaluates the levels of essential vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants in your body. Identifying deficiencies can help optimize energy production, metabolism, and hormone synthesis. With these insights, you can create a targeted supplementation and dietary plan tailored to your specific needs.
  • Saliva Hormone Testing
    Saliva hormone testing is an excellent tool for gaining insight into how your hormone levels fluctuate throughout the day. Unlike blood tests, saliva testing measures hormones at various times, giving you a clearer picture of how your body responds to daily stress, sleep, and nutrition. This test is particularly beneficial for assessing adrenal fatigue, as it tracks cortisol levels, and can also help identify imbalances in other hormones such as progesterone and estrogen.
  • Urine Hormone Testing
    Urine hormone testing offers another detailed approach to understanding hormone fluctuations over a 24-hour period. This test provides a comprehensive snapshot of your hormone levels, including metabolites, and is especially useful for evaluating thyroid function, adrenal health, and reproductive hormone imbalances. It’s an effective tool for pinpointing hormone imbalances that could be affecting your mood, metabolism, or energy levels, helping you create a personalized plan for balance and health.

Resetting your hormones doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With these 10 steps and tailored functional testing, you can take control of your health and energy in a way that fits your lifestyle.

If you want professional help where I get to the root cause and create a personalized plan with easy-to-follow steps designed specifically for you, book a call today.

Let’s make 2025 the year you reclaim your energy and feel like yourself again!

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Ancient Roots, Modern Medicine Woman

Originally Published in Gainesville City Lifestyle Magazine

I recently discovered a fascinating piece of my family history: I come from a lineage of “medicine women.” My Great-Grandmother was a renowned healer, drawing people from far and wide to seek her wisdom and natural remedies. Her worn, well-loved book of home remedies is one of my most cherished possessions.

While my journey to becoming a naturopath began before I knew about my Great-Grandmother’s legacy, it seems the stars were aligning. I initially aspired to be a physician, but later shifted my focus to pharmacy. After earning my Doctorate in Pharmacy, I spent years teaching and practicing Western medicine at the University of Florida.

Six years ago, my heart led me down a different path. I was drawn to the holistic/whole-person approach of functional medicine and herbalism. Today, I own and operate Halo Health, where I help clients harness the power of nature to heal their bodies. In addition to treating symptoms, I strive to uncover and address the root causes of illness.

I can’t help but wonder if my Great-Grandmother would be proud of the “medicine woman” I’ve become. Her legacy continues to inspire me as I work to empower others on their healing journeys.

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Can CBD Cause a Positive Drug Test?

scientist looking at test tubes of CBD for a drug test

CBD is becoming a common natural option for many conditions. It can decrease stress and anxiety. It improves the quality and length of sleep. And can decrease inflammation and muscle/joint discomfort. As we learn more about the benefits of CBD, many people are turning to CBD as a more natural remedy versus taking a prescription medication. One hesitation for using CBD is the concern with drug testing. “Can CBD cause a positive drug test?” The answer is, “It depends.” It really depends on the type of CBD that you use. CBD is sold in three different types/classes.

Isolate CBD is just that. In the manufacturing of Isolate CBD, precautions are taken to remove all of the hemp plant materials to only retain isolate CBD. No other cannabinoids are contained in Isolate CBD. Since drug tests are sensitive to THC, another cannabinoid in the cannabis/hemp plant, Isolate CBD should NOT cause a positive drug test result.

The second type of CBD is called Full Spectrum CBD. When a product is labeled “Full Spectrum” that means that they use ALL of the plant material, including many various cannabinoids and terpenes. Even though Full Spectrum CBD will contain mostly CBD, it provides an entourage effect with all of the other trace cannabinoids and terpenes working together to create a fuller, synergistic effect. Oftentimes when someone does not find relief with isolate CBD, a full spectrum product is a great next step. The important thing to remember with Full Spectrum CBD is that it can contain THC. It can only contain less than 0.3 percent THC to be legally labeled CBD. This is not usually enough to cause any “high” or heady feeling, but Full Spectrum CBD may be enough to cause a positive drug test.

Broad Spectrum CBD is a good intermediary between the two. To create a broad-spectrum CBD product, the manufacturer uses all of the plant material (cannabinoids and terpenes), with one slight variation; they take time to remove any THC. Broad-spectrum CBD provides the great benefits of having all of the cannabinoids working together for a fuller effect, without the risk of a positive drug test for THC.

Understanding the different types of CBD products is important in choosing the one that is right for you. If you are concerned about drug testing, an Isolate CBD product or Broad-Spectrum CBD product may be the best choice for you. If you are not concerned with drug testing and want to jump into a CBD product with a fuller effect, then a Full Spectrum CBD product should be a great choice.

The best way to have confidence in your CBD is to review the testing of your CBD product. Every CBD product should come with a Certificate of Analysis that shows third-party testing performed on that particular lot. Oftentimes this is available through a QR code or website on the product label. Reviewing this product testing data can provide assurance that the product you are using has, or does not have, the ingredients that you expect. If you are still concerned with the risk of drug testing, find a pharmacist or health care professional that can provide guidance in finding a CBD product that you can trust.

Middle aged woman smiling

Dr Heather is a Clinical Pharmacist, CBD consultant, and CBD provider. You can reach out to her here:

Website: www.HaloHealthCBD.com

Email: pharmie@cox.net

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HaloHealth.net

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pharmie_gal/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-hardin-pharmd-bcacp-8022b829/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrje-wmKD9N7UoQU1nKAz6A

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How Long Does It Take for CBD to Work?

Cannabidiol (CBD) is being used by many people (and pets) for various conditions including anxiety, insomnia, pain, inflammation, and more. Some users notice immediate results while others notice a subtle, continuous improvement of symptoms over time. When clients begin a new journey with CBD, one of the first questions is usually, “When will I notice it working?” The answer is, “It depends on many factors.” Let’s break it down a bit.

REASON FOR USING

Time to efficacy will depend on why you are using CBD. Sometimes the effects can happen quickly for certain conditions. Often clients experiencing insomnia will notice a fairly quick response from taking/using CBD in the evening before bedtime. Many find improved sleep from the very first dose. If CBD is used at a larger dose before a stressful, anxiety-ridden activity (i.e., such as giving a presentation), efficacy can be felt within a few hours of taking CBD. In contrast, if CBD is being used for chronic, generalized anxiety, the improvement of symptoms can be most noticeable after a period of 6-8 weeks. Even more improvement in mood can continue being seen with consistent daily usage.

When it is used for chronic pain, there are varying results in how much time CBD takes to work. The severity and root cause of pain can play a role in how soon the benefits will be felt. Minor pain that happens from an acute incident (i.e., recent injury, more superficial pain) can often experience quicker relief than more chronic, more severe injuries that involve inflammation. The latter may find some immediate pain relief but will notice even more improvement with ongoing consistent dosing over time. When swelling and inflammation are the root causes of severe pain, a longer time may be needed to see decreases in pain. Longer consistent use of CBD allows the anti-inflammatory effects of CBD to concentrate deeper into tissues, slowly decreasing inflammation, and allowing for even more improvement in pain over time.

FORMULATION

The formulation of CBD used is another factor in how quickly results will be experienced. Smoking CBD flower or vaping CBD oil is one of the fastest methods for efficacy. The lungs provide a direct route to the bloodstream. The effects of inhaled CBD can be felt within a few minutes of inhaling and can last for about an hour or so. Topical application of CBD through lotions/creams/oils also provides more immediate relief. These topical products can be applied directly to a painful area for a localized effect that occurs quickly and can last for hours.

Oral administration of CBD can be variable. When CBD is swallowed, it enters the digestive system and is broken down by the liver (known as “first-pass metabolism”). The liver metabolizes the CBD so that only a portion of it reaches the bloodstream to be effective. Gel caps/capsules/tablets will have the least bioavailability. CBD tincture/oil can be applied under the tongue before swallowing. This unique quality of CBD oil provides a small opportunity for some amount of CBD to be delivered directly to the bloodstream through the blood vessels located under the tongue. Then when swallowed, the oil can be digested for more absorption and effect. Gummies and other edibles spend a small amount of time in the oral cavity to allow for minimal buccal/oral absorption before being swallowed and digested. Oral products can show efficacy peaking at 2.5 to 5 hours with continued use.

The good news is that the half-life of CBD is approximately 60 hours with continuous daily dosing. This means that with continuous use, the effects of oral CBD will be felt consistently with twice daily dosing.

ADMINISTRATION

One of the key factors in how well CBD will work is to take it in the most effective way. To get the most from oral CBD, it should be taken with food. Fatty food is best with CBD since it is very fat-soluble. Taking CBD with a high-fat, high-calorie meal increases the effect of CBD 4- to 5-fold compared to taking it on an empty stomach. If you take CBD with a low-fat, low-calorie meal the effects are improved by only 3- to 4-fold compared to an empty stomach. Bottom line: the more fat in your meal/snack, the better CBD is absorbed and the better it works to provide relief. If taken on an empty stomach, the effects will be much more limited.

As mentioned above, the overall effects of CBD will be different if taken short-term vs long-term. If taken at an effective dose on a daily basis, this consistent administration will allow time for changes in the body that will show continuous and broad benefits vs taking it on an “as needed” basis.

DOSING

The dose of CBD can also play a role in how well it works. How well CBD is absorbed and how quickly it leaves the body can be different for each individual. Since CBD loves to remain in fatty tissue, the body’s composition can play a role in how big or small dosing needs to be for each individual. Everyone’s metabolism (breaking down) of CBD can be different, which can also affect the dose needed to find the best effect.

Summary: it is best to work with a clinical professional such as a CBD pharmacist to safely find the best dosing for you specifically.

IT ALL DEPENDS

CBD provides relief to many people. It can aid in relaxation, soothe sore muscles and joints, decrease inflammation, and provide more restful sleep. When it comes to how much time CBD takes to work, it all depends. How quickly and how well it works for you can be different depending on the dosage form, the dose, the reason for use, the severity of the issue, your body type, and how you take it. Seek out expert guidance and advice to get the most from your CBD. Working with a CBD expert can greatly improve the chance that you will find quick and effective relief with CBD.       

Dr Heather is a Clinical Pharmacist, CBD consultant, and CBD provider. You can reach out to her here:

Website: www.HaloHealthCBD.com

Email: pharmie@cox.net

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HaloHealth.net

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pharmie_gal/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-hardin-pharmd-bcacp-8022b829/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrje-wmKD9N7UoQU1nKAz6A

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Empathy: If You Truly Want to Help, Get Down in the Muck

We’ve all been there. A friend has just shared gut-wrenching news. They are getting a divorce. They just received a diagnosis of cancer. They lost their job. They just totaled their car. Their child is failing out of school… The tears are flowing. Your friend feels hopeless, lost, confused. Their world is shattered, and they have no idea how they are going to take the next step.

During these difficult times, we want to be helpful. We think, “I want to fix this. I want to bring some light to their darkness. I want to bring them hope.” We look for the right words to say to make it all better. This care and concern, along with the desire to see them happier and in a better place, is called sympathy. Sympathy comes from a good place within you, but it might not be the most helpful for your friend at this time. Your friend is nowhere near being ready to move on to a better place; not yet.

What your friend truly needs at this tragic, dark moment is empathy. Empathy is the ability to share the emotions that your friend is experiencing. Sympathy is different from empathy. Let’s look at it this way. Sympathy is like throwing a rope to someone who is in quicksand. Empathy is more like jumping in the muck with them. Wow, that sounds uncomfortable and scary. Yes, it can be. There is an emotional cost for being empathetic, but if you truly want to help your friend, it is worth the price.

Showing empathy should involve these three things:

  • Listen more than you speak. Try to avoid the urge to share your own misery or trauma with the hopes of helping them feel less alone in this tragic time. I know I fall into this trap sometimes when I say, “Yea, I totally get what you are saying. This reminds me of a similar time when I…”  This is actually drawing the attention away from their situation and can lead to them feeling like you just “don’t get it.” You want to make sure that the focus is on them. They need to know that no matter what, they are the most important individual at the moment. Sometimes just listening to them so that they feel “heard” can be exactly what they need during this dark time.
  • Avoid making comments that “help” them feel better. Never start a statement with “at least…” It may seem that you would be giving them a positive spin on the situation, but it truly communicates that you are not grasping the breadth of their agony in the current moment. Also, try to avoid distracting comments. We may think that distracting them or putting a positive spin on the situation will help them feel better. Later in time, this may be correct, but in the darkest moments, they aren’t ready to welcome these more positive thoughts until they process the suffering and pain that they are experiencing at the moment. Examples of non-helpful statements include:
  1. At least you have your health
  2. At least you had a marriage before it fell apart
  3. At least you’ve had some really great life experiences along the way
  4. Let’s forget about it and go get some ice cream. You love ice cream.
  5. You really don’t need him anyway; you can do better.
  • There might not be any perfect words that you can say to make the situation any better, and that is perfectly OK. When we listen to someone in distress our minds can be aflutter with thoughts of “what can I say to make him/her feel better?” In reality, there are likely no words that you can say to change the situation, and nothing you can say or do will make things any better. Sometimes the best we can do is make them feel “less alone.” It can be comforting merely to have someone with you during a time of darkness and struggle.

Empathy requires vulnerability to get down in the muck with the person struggling. It requires a connection with the other person and identifying with something within yourself that knows what they might be feeling. Listening and being there with them is first and foremost, and rarely are there any words that you can share that will “fix” their problem. It is much better to be honest and say something like, “I am so glad that you shared this with me. I can’t even imagine what you must be going through right now, but know that I am here for you; you are not alone.” What makes people feel better is connection and relationship, recognizing the soul and energy in the other person as a reflection of our own life force, and getting down in the muck with them during their time of need.

**This is a reflection of Brené Brown and her explanation of empathy. She has written many books on empathy and vulnerability; check them out. And find her YouTube video on empathy here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

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One Year Later: 5 Most Important Lessons Learned From Shifting My Life and Career

It was exactly one year ago, that I boldly followed my heart. My soul was screaming for me to make drastic changes in my life. Enveloped in stress and shame, I realized that I was not living a life aligned with my spirit and purpose. No matter how successful I was at work, I still felt empty. My health was failing. My nights were spent anxiously staring at the ceiling. My relationships were suffering. And more importantly, I felt empty, unhappy, and unfulfilled.

After wrestling with the devil and angel on my shoulders and draining my husband with endless late-night discussions on the topic, I made the courageous decision to resign from my upper-level, successful job to find more joy, peace, and purpose in my life. Let me jump to the end of the story for you. This was the best decision I have ever made in my life (well, second to marrying the most dashing and intelligent man on the planet, of course). Today I want to share the 5 most important lessons that I learned during my life shift. I pray that these bits of wisdom might provide insight into finding more purpose and joy in your own life.

  1. God, the Universe, Life…Everything is working FOR you, not against you. It can be easy to get distracted by all of the negativity around you. You can get consumed by your perceived failures and struggles. But life is full of blessings. You need only adjust and open your perspective. What are these experiences teaching you? What is this struggle opening the door to; how is it making space for your next opportunity? Perhaps you could never find that new perfect job if you didn’t realize your unhappiness with the current one. Life is full of amazing experiences, some tragic and some exhilarating. Blessings and lessons abound in all that you experience. The current moment is the result of your past steps. Your future lies before you as a clean slate to write as you wish. Choose to trust in the flow of the universe. Trust in God’s wisdom. All is moving forward for your own good. Believe in yourself. Believe in the blessings of your life.
  2. Find Your Center. What does that even mean? It means taking time to find out who you are; who you truly are. For this, you have to be still and learn about yourself. We often spend our time “doing” for our career, for our family, for others. We can easily lose sight of ourselves. When you take time to get to know your true Self better, you learn more about what you truly enjoy, what you value, and what you truly want out of life. Find time to break away from your usual routine. Take a walk at lunchtime or after work. Sit by the ocean or a pond. Sit on a bench in the park. Find a simple, relaxing place to be still. Calm your mind (easier said than done, but with continued practice, you’ll be an expert). Try to view your surroundings as if you were a child experiencing them for the first time. Notice the details: the leaves on the trees, the birds’ songs, the wind, the sky. Take a deep breath in, and start to connect with the soul within you. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. No one else is experiencing what you are at this very moment. No one else can, because you are the only amazing you there is. What a blessing to finally grasp the unique person that you are, and then live your life celebrating your experiences with all of the other fellow souls trying to find their way home.
  3. Relish the special person that you are! Stop trying to fit into some mold that you created in your mind. Perhaps it’s who your parents expect you to be. Perhaps it’s some dramatization that you believe society expects you to be. Perhaps it’s some idealized personal expectation that you created for yourself based on a lifetime of trial and error. Listen to these next few words like your life depends on it: Be Honest with Yourself! If you are unhappy, then take a look at your life and be honest about what you want to change. Don’t hold onto goals, jobs, or relationship choices because you think you “should” be happy with them. If you are not happy, then accept that, and then do something about it. If you continue to live a lie to make someone else proud, you will be doomed to a life of unhappiness, stress, and disappointment. Who YOU are is way more important than what people EXPECT you to be. Once you connect with the amazing person that you are and follow your own personal passions, your life will begin to flow along a pathway filled with the most gratifying and joy-filled experiences. Work will become less “work,” and relationships will flourish in a way that seems effortless and light.
  4. You Are Worth It. Having a servant attitude helps us live in sacrifice to others. You are likely very thankful that you have a job and life roles that benefit the ones you love. We appreciate our opportunities to serve others and are proud knowing that what we do benefits those around us. Yet, we lose ourselves in these roles so much so that we are left feeling unworthy ourselves. “Oh no, not me. Happiness is for someone else. I mean really, who is ever truly happy?” In order to serve others, you must find time to fill your own cup. We can serve others so much better when we serve from a place of fulfillment. Again, I implore you to lean into these words: You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live the life of your dreams. You deserve to be respected. You deserve to laugh, love, and find peace. You are worth it!!!
  5. You Can Do it. Nothing is impossible. It may seem that way, but I am here to inform you that it CAN be done. How easily you can talk yourself out of something. Let’s see; what are all of those reasons? Oh yea, you’re not strong enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not _____enough (fill in the blank). Oh and then there is this… “I can’t because_____.” “Maybe when (this happens) I will do it.” Remember Jesus’ words, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid? (Matthew 8:26 NIV)” Why do you hesitate when you feel it in your soul. If it makes sense to you, and if it feels “right,” then go for it. How fulfilling life will be to create a path that is meant for you. It is right there waiting for you to decide to take the next step. You know what you should do. Now be courageous enough to trust in yourself and take that first step. Remember, life is there waiting to play out for your good. What are you waiting for??
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Gifts of Life

Watching a child open birthday presents is such a joy. They are “beside-themselves” excited. As they rip the bright wrapping paper away from the first gift, they quickly glance at the package inside. Just as quickly, they toss the revealed gift aside, reaching anxiously for the next present. “Wait,” you say. “Look what you were given. See how shiny it is? Hold it; isn’t it wonderful? Listen to the beautiful music it makes.” But your child is distracted by the better possibilities hidden within the other boxes wrapped in shiny, colorful paper.

Life is full of gifts that fall in continuous grace upon us. Our lives are lavished with blessings, yet we are just as children. Often as quickly as a gift is upon us, we are reaching anxiously for the next opportunity lest it pass us by and we miss out on something better. How many precious moments have slipped through our fingers because we did not take the time to relish them? How many gifts have rained down upon us, while we paid them no mind, busy stretching forward to what is next?

We can get caught up in the undertow of our experiences. Drifting along, our lives can become a fast-moving stream. For many of us, this is not merely a stream, but a white-water river churning and barreling over jagged rocks. You try to swim harder to keep your head afloat, not really steering your way, but merely being pulled along an uncontrollable, sometimes treacherous flow. You reassure yourself that at least you are moving forward. Others are in the river, too. They seem to be doing well, so this must be the way to keep moving ahead. As you keep working harder, you struggle and lose a little bit of footing. You take on more projects to be better than the next person; that should help gain more control. Your footing is now non-existent. The river feels foreign. You don’t feel in control, and you really don’t even know if you are succeeding at what you are trying to accomplish. But you are “accomplishing;” that is for sure. If achieving is success, then you should be happy and fulfilled. Are you? If you are, then you are deeply blessed. Keep swimming; you have found your purpose. If you are not, then perhaps you need to find a way to re-center yourself.

Getting swept up in the river of your life and career may lead to unhappiness if you don’t take time to enjoy the journey. What a travesty to be traveling along such a lovely landscape and not take the time to enjoy the gift of it all.  Would your life or career suffer if you took the time to occasionally swim to the shoreline for a moment? Sit on the bank and listen to the birds. Touch the prickly grass under your fingertips. Breathe in the smell of the cool air. Look above you at the tree canopy with the sunlight dancing through the leaves. How your heart would dance. Oh, how your soul would sing. Think of the memories you could make, fully enjoying the gifts of this life. What memories are you creating with those around you? Will their memories be of how hard you worked within the river of life, or of those abounding moments when you stopped and enjoyed the “gifts” along the way?

Contrary to what you might think, taking time to be still and present won’t cause you to miss anything important. The rushing river of your career is still there, waiting for your next twist and turn. The flow of life can wait for you to unwrap the moment and enjoy the blessings along the stream. Opportunities will not cease to come your way just because you take the time to enjoy the journey. Your purpose will be fulfilled. Trust in yourself. You have come this far. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you knew everything would work out well? The common quote is “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” Well, if you couldn’t fail (and I know you, you won’t), you would be free to take time and swim to the shore occasionally. When you find stillness and presence in the current moment, you can look-see-touch-smell every aspect of the gifts around you. Often this will clear your mind and remind you of your “why” for this journey in the first place. When you take the time to enjoy the journey and focus on your “why,” you can make clearer decisions when you are in the throes of the river of life.

Stop and take time to be still and enjoy your gifts and blessings. You don’t always have to be working harder to get there first, to be the best, to do more, to reach anxiously for the next opportunity. Don’t get to the waterfall of your life and look back to see the beauty of the riverbank that passed you by. Wouldn’t it be better to float away with a smile on your face remembering all of the deep, amazing blessings you fully enjoyed, and yell, “WOW, what a ride!”

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Our Missteps Make for a Unique and Glorious Dance

“I’m supposed to be stronger than this. I should be able to move beyond this. I am such a failure at everything; this is another prime example.” Oh, that little voice in my head; how loud it can get. It seems like others are so much stronger than I am. It seems like things go so easily for others while I crawl through the muck and struggle to just keep my head up. What if someone sees just how hard I’m struggling? What if they see who I really am; what will they think? They will see that I am a failure and so very unworthy.

You may have heard this voice as well. We all have that voice; that “ego” that is constantly comparing ourselves with those around us. Comparing ourselves with who it conceives we “should” be, who we’re “supposed” to be. In the light of that comparison, we usually fail. Oh, there are times when we shine, but we generally do not hold onto those memories for very long. They don’t carry much weight. Those instances can easily be written off as a “fluke,” just a lucky break. They don’t seem to carry near as much weight as those hard, heavy, demeaning thoughts.

What would you say to a friend that voices these thoughts to you? Likely you would comfort them. You would try to lift them up and help them see how valuable they truly are. Why is it that we can so easily nurture others, but treat our fragile selves so poorly?

For years that negative, comparative ego has been my constant companion. Even in those moments of my proudest achievements, I felt that the glory shouldn’t be given to me. Not me; I am so unworthy. It could have been better. I berated myself at every turn. That was my mantra: I am less-than; I am “not enough.”

Do you know where this left me in life? Without joy. Without happiness. Without any self-worth or self-love. Feeling unsatisfied with myself, with my career, with my life. I felt empty when it came to loving others (I am not enough for them. They deserve better.). I was not accepting of myself. In self-judgment there cannot be acceptance.

If you haven’t read Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly, you should add it to your reading list. In it she reveals this negative “ego” voice and smashes it with a hammer!! After reading that book, I now hesitate when I find myself being overly self-critical. Any thoughts of “I should” or “I’m supposed to…” are quickly snuffed out. We often self-define a box that we are supposed to fit in based on what we think society expects. And if we somehow slip out of that box, we shudder in fear of non-acceptance.

How boring. What a shame for the world. This limits the uniqueness that is “you.” This limits the experiences you can have that fulfill your passion and joy. In blocking your full expression of self, you diminish the world. Those around you suffer. You suffer. Once you live in sync with your true essence—your true self—life changes. If you can be brave enough to be your true self, life will begin to flow with you and to you. You will realize that there is no worthy and unworthy; there is only “you,” and you are perfect. Every silly mistake, even your failures, are merely an experience, a time to grow and learn. And your learning path is different from others. It doesn’t make your journey “less-than” or “more-than.” It just IS. It is YOUR glorious path.

So what if the clothes don’t get folded today? So what if you forget to brush the kids’ teeth? So what if you wear two different socks to work? Give yourself a break. And guess what, it doesn’t matter what others think. You can’t control them. It matters most what YOU think. In regards to that, you are in total control. Love yourself; in your great achievements and in your failures. Laugh at yourself. When you stumble, nurture yourself. You deserve it, and the world around you will benefit too. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are doing your best, and your best is good enough. Try to appreciate and love yourself just as you are right now. You are doing a perfect job at being “you.” As a matter of fact, no one can be a better “you” than you can. And you are doing it perfectly.

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Take a Break from “Doing” and Start “Being”

Our lives are so full. We set them up that way. We love it. The more we can achieve, the better we feel about ourselves. Our houses should be their cleanest. Our kids should be involved in activities (we don’t want them to be seen as lazy). And what about building a career? You should have high ambitions and drive hard every day to take steps forward to be the Best_____ (fill in the blank). If you are not seen as trying to climb the ladder then you are not trying hard enough. We kill ourselves to impress those around us by how much we accomplish. For some powerful reason, we are still trying to make someone proud of us; our parents, our friends, our spouses, our children.

Achievement is innate in all of us. From the time we are born, we are trying to gain our parents’ approval. When we enter school, it is our teachers and fellow classmates that we want to impress. Competition is real; on the playground, during those exams, trying to get into college. Life tends to train us to continually look for a way to gain an edge on those around us. Work harder. Do more. Stand out.

Staying busy, having more on your checklist than you can ever accomplish in one day, is empowering, right? Is that what makes you who you are? Is that what defines you; what you “do?” Your day-in and day-out rat race, running yourself ragged, is that what defines you? Perhaps. If so, then you don’t stand out at all. Anyone can make a list of the things that you do each day and do them. This doesn’t make you unique. This doesn’t truly define what lies deep within you; your “youness.”

Consider looking at your life through this lens; bear with me. If you died today, what would people say about you? Yep, we’re going there. What would people say about you in the neighborhood, at work, at your funeral? I’ll tell you what they would say about me before I changed my focus. If I had died a year ago, people would have said, “Wow, so sad to hear about Heather. She worked her butt off. She worked so hard every day from 7 am to almost 7 pm. And I think she was kind of nice.” I was so defined by the things I was “doing.” I thought that the more things I achieved, the more purposes I served, the more important and viable I would become. The result of all of this “achieving” would lead to more happiness, right? Wrong. Very, very wrong.

I was only impacting processes, not people. Not the way I wanted to have an impact. There was more in me than what I could “do.” There was more that defined me than what I could accomplish by being busy. And to be honest with you, I wasn’t happy, not truly happy. I was feeling spent. No matter how much I achieved, I still felt unsatisfied with my progress and empty inside.

I don’t want to be remembered for how busy I am. I want to be remembered for deeper reasons. I want my legacy to be centered around how deeply I cared for people, by how much I made them smile, by the fun crazy adventures that I journeyed through. I want to genuinely make a meaningful impact on people around me. I want to nurture my relationships, including my relationship with myself.

I decided to stop “Doing” so many things and started “Being” more.

Being more still

Being more thoughtful and unrushed

Being more aware of everything around me

Being more aware of my surroundings at this moment

Being more aware of the energy and needs of those around me

Being more aware of myself and my personal goals and desires

Soon I realized things I hadn’t before. I began to connect more deeply with those most important to me. I noticed more clearly the deep needs of those around me, and I took a long moment to sit with them (for more than one minute) and talk with them more about themselves. I took a break from my craziness to just breathe, look out the window, go for a walk, give myself time to contemplate who I really am and what I truly want for my life.

It was a challenge. The call for responsibility is strong. Society tells you that if you aren’t “Doing” then you are lazy. I tell you wholeheartedly, this is a myth. You deserve to take time to be still. You deserve to take time to think and be creative. Let your mind wander. It can’t wander if you are constantly tasking it with activity. Creativity, self-awareness, hearing the voice of your true calling can only occur if you stop engaging your mind in tasks. Give your mind and yourself some space to stretch. It is only then that you truly achieve what life has set for you. Hear that? What Life” has set for you. Not the world. The world is like a rushing river.  It will pull you along its own agenda unless you take control of your time and find the purpose that God has specifically designed for you. Do you feel like you are being carried along by the world? Do you feel like you want more control over where you are going? Do you feel that you aren’t where you think you need to be? Perhaps you are not yet living your special, unique purpose. God is constantly reminding you of your true calling. You can’t hear his purpose for you unless you get away from the drone of “Doing” and set yourself to more “Being.”

Of course, life will continue to have responsibilities you need to accomplish, but I challenge you to find a small smidgen of time every day to devote to stillness, to breathing in the moment, to relaxing your mind. Give yourself permission to just “Be;” you deserve it. During these special moments, don’t have expectations for yourself, no rules or boxes to stay in. What you find will be inspiring. You just might decide to nourish that hidden passion. Paint more, buy a kayak, start a Mom’s group, hit the gym and get those biceps you’ve always dreamed of, and spend more time with those who mean the most to you.

Wow, the memories you will make, and the joy you will find in your life. Your daily tasks will suddenly seem lighter because your cup will be full. Even though you will be taking valuable time away from your “Doing,” you will actually feel more accomplished. You will feel more fulfilled in your life, and thus every step will be lighter for you. Your days will have a purpose; a purpose that is in line with your own personal journey and desires.

My hope for you: Give yourself time to experience your uniqueness. Give yourself permission to relax, to let your mind wander, to just “BE.” Creative and amazing things will happen. You just might find more happiness, more fulfillment in your life. And those around you will celebrate as you find your true passion. You can’t live your passion without a smile on your face, and a smile brightens so many of those around you. What will your legacy be?

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How in the World Did This Chocolate End Up in My Mouth?

You are fired up!  You’ve got this!  You have been talking about eating a healthier diet and reaching a healthier body weight for years.  Oh, yea; today’s the day!  You have planned it out; the kitchen is full of organic, healthy food choices.  Your salad is packed for lunch today.  This is the grand moment that you will turn over a new leaf.  Doesn’t it feel awesome?  I mean, really, don’t you almost feel healthier already?  This is going to be easy.  You are prepared and motivated.  You feel so strong and hopeful about your future success.  You can envision the finish line, and you look and feel amazing standing there as your future self.  Nothing is gonna stop you this time. No way.  No how.

After eating some oatmeal and fruit.  You drive to work, patting yourself on the back.  Great start!  So far, so good.  Walking tall and feeling like a million bucks, you stroll into the office confident that you can take on the world today.  When you arrive, you realize that you have an unplanned meeting with leadership, and they want you to present the results of your current project.  No problem, you remember…you got this today!

Wow, the meeting was brutal and took three hours. A huge chunk of time has been devoured.  Suddenly you realize how much energy was zapped out of you. Feeling hungry, you smile and grab the protein bar you packed.  Haha, see, this is easy.  Why haven’t you done this sooner?

Sitting down at your desk, you are suddenly overwhelmed by how many emails you have received.  By the time you have answered all of your emails, it has been two hours.  What?!?!?  And lunchtime is now almost over.  No worries, you packed that salad.  Whew!  Scarfing down the salad, you realize that you feel a little unsatisfied and wish you had more time to actually enjoy it.  But who has time? Now that it is already 1:30 pm, you must get to your actual work for the day.  There is so much pressure on you to hit the next deadline, get that order out, network with 8 clients, answer more emails, and go to two more unplanned meetings. You are racing the clock, giving 200%. Later in the afternoon, you are sitting in… OK, let’s just say it… boring meetings that are keeping you from getting your “actual workload” done.  With a big sigh and a rub of your forehead, you leave the last meeting of the day at 5:30 pm. Wow, you should be driving home at this time, but you just received information from this last meeting that has to be acted upon today.  As you walk by a coworker’s desk, without thinking, you casually pick up a shiny piece of chocolate from the dish.  You deserve a little sweetness after this crazy busy day. You open it up, pop it in your mouth, and giggle as you read the saying within, “Nothing Can Stop You Today!”

WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!!  How in the world did this chocolate get into my mouth!!  Oh, no!!  What am I doing?!?!? What a goober I am; what a failure.  How could I have let a little piece of candy get the best of me today? Really?!?!? And you thought you were so strong. Yea, right. The phone in your office rings and distracts you. Oh, yea, your boss said he would call you after the meeting and get you those figures you need. Running to your office, you put your “self-bashing” on the back burner.  You will deal with this failure and your weakness later.

Driving home at 6:30 pm, you are exhausted, mind a whirl, stomach growling. You had really planned to get home early and grill that chicken breast. Traffic just has to be horrible today, right? And this wanker in front of you is driving 20 miles under the speed limit blocking the fast lane.  At 7:30 pm you pull into the garage. Today definitely did not go as planned. Where was all of your drive, your confidence? When you left this morning, you were so sure that you were stronger than anything that life would throw at you. Wow, you really deceived yourself. What a lie you told yourself this morning. You should have known that you would fail at eating healthier. Who do you really think you are?

Sitting on the couch about 10 minutes later, you are shoveling ice cream into your mouth as you watch another episode of your favorite Netflix show of that dysfunctional family. Yea, that’s you. You’ll never change. You, too, are stuck in the body of someone destined to fail in life.

How did this happen when I was so strong and motivated today? I am so ashamed and disappointed. I trick myself into thinking that I can change, but it is hopeless. I might as well fill my pantry with sweats and pasta and enjoy my short, unhealthy life.  I’ll never be able to do this.

Does this sound all too familiar?  You can get so very motivated with great plans, and then life somehow quickly unravels your best intentions.  How did that chocolate get into your mouth anyway?  Did your coworker plan out a huge conspiracy to place a bowl of candy directly along the path to the boss’ office?  Did your leadership know that you were trying your hardest today and devise a wicked plan to keep you tied up in meetings? It might be easy to feel like life purposefully worked against you today. I usually blame the devil. He is always laughing at me as he throws out another curveball. Perhaps the universe is trying to “keep you down.” Likely not.  Likely it was something much more powerful than these.  It was a few long-trained habits.

Habits are like a stalking lion. They are usually quiet and unnoticeable until they pounce, and before long you are sitting with a spoon in a quart of Haagen Dazs.  Habits lead you blindly to repeat a behavior that is ingrained in your psyche. They are extremely powerful and effortless. Did you hear that? Wait a minute. What if we could bend the will of those habits to work “for” us instead of “against” us.  If we could harness our habits, we could accomplish so many of our goals without much effort or thought. Sounds great, but you’ve tried to stop them before. This isn’t the first time you binged on ice cream.  I hear ya.  Those bad habits have been conditioned over many years; they won’t relinquish their hold easily.

How will we retrain them? It took many hours of focus and conditioning to bring you the wonderful skill of blindly listening to your subconscious when it comes to snacks and treats. Listen to me. This is the part where I tell you it is not easy, but it is so very effective and worth all of the time you spend on improving them. You absolutely CAN retrain your habits to be healthier and work for you instead of against you.

Habits are like children. They listen well to your plans for them but quickly get distracted by the shininess of a candy wrapper. You will have to constantly tell them “no, this isn’t good for you” and lead them back to the path of your will. Believe me when I tell you this as well: It gets so much easier. If you commit yourself to change your unhealthy habits to healthy habits, you WILL succeed. “Yea, right.” I hear you whispering to yourself. You’ve tried that before, and yet here you are again. That is the best news I’ve heard because that means you have already accomplished the first phase of harnessing your habits. Step 2, try again. Step 3, try again. This is called conditioning. And conditioning is exactly what it takes to harness those habits. It will become easier as long as you continue to try and change them.

Your children frustrate you, yet you continuously forgive them because you know they need your help and will eventually see your grand plan for them. Habits, like children, need your forgiveness and love. When the bad habits happen again, accept them for what they are. You are not a failure. You are working towards creating a healthier life, and this is part of the journey. Take a deep breath, forgive yourself for succumbing so easily again, and remind yourself of your goal. You are blessed with the opportunity to try again. Believe it or not, next time it will be easier.

The great news is that you can harness the power of your habits and achieve a healthier and happier life. Once your habits are trained, they become a roaring lion that works for you effortlessly and subconsciously; they are your most powerful tool for reaching your goals. Before long, you will walk past that candy dish (and every candy dish) wistfully and without hesitation. And you might just be 10 pounds lighter in your step.  Forgive yourself, keep trying, and celebrate every small win.  You CAN do this. Believe in yourself and the power of your spirit. I believe in you. Now forgive yourself, put that ice cream back in the freezer, get out there again, and harness those habits.